Trick Your Mind Into Doing Hard Things

When I was working on building my first business, I had a huge problem with procrastination.

I would procrastinate and avoid the things I needed to do. Such as doing outreach and studying sales.

I knew doing outreach and studying sales were really good for me and the business, but I still avoided doing them.

This had ripple effects such as having no leads or being terrible on sales calls.

I thought I was lacking willpower.

But when I looked at other areas of my life like kickboxing, going to bed on time or even cleaning my house, I realised that it had nothing to do with willpower.

The problem resided in my behaviour and a lack of understanding how the mind works.

There are two reasons the mind procrastinates and avoids ‘hard’ things:

1. Avoiding Negative Emotions and Perceived Pain

2. Maintaining The Self-Image

The Mind and Pain Avoidance

As part of our human nature, we are more motivated to avoid pain than we are to pursue pleasure.

No matter how good something might be for you if your mind perceives it to be painful in some way or it brings up negative emotions like stress, anxiety or shame, you will avoid it.

This is why so many people will push things off and do the things that ease their minds.

Things such as watching Netflix instead of working on that project or eating an extra serving rather than sticking to their calorie deficit and experiencing restriction.

The problem with short-term thinking and instant gratification is that people fail to understand that the things you do today will affect the next day and the next day.

Most fail to understand the consequences of the actions they take and the actions they don’t take and unfortunately, this is why they don’t do the things they know they need to do.

Everything you do today is either in favour of the person you want to be or against it.

The Mind and Maintaining Your Self-Image

“You will act like the sort of person you conceive yourself to be.” ― Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics

Everyone has a self-image. A view and concept about the person we are. “I’m the kind of person that…”, “I’ve always been like this”, “I don’t do …”

And to ensure we stay within this self-image, we will always think, feel and act following this self-image. If you do something outside the comfort zone of the self-image, you feel uncomfortable.

So if there is a specific goal you want to achieve and you keep having to do things to achieve it and telling yourself that you have to do things to achieve it, you are subconsciously confirming that you are NOT that person.

Example

• Goal: Be lean for summer

• Things to do: lose weight by going to the gym and eating nutrient-dense food in a calorie deficit.

• Self-image: someone who is overweight, doesn’t go to the gym and eats whatever and however much they want.

Can you see that the things you need to do to achieve your goals are not in alignment with your self-image?

You will avoid the things you should be doing to achieve your goals because you are NOT ‘that person’.

You don’t conceive yourself to be the person who would do that.

If you do something outside your comfort zone and self-image and fail, that will make you feel like shit.

So to avoid discomfort or failure, you stay within your comfort zone and don’t go after your goals.

What Took So Long?

I took forever to start creating content on my X account.

Apart from technical aspects like not knowing what to post,

how to structure a tweet and so on, 

the barrier to me getting started was not wanting to look bad.

It wasn’t that there was a lack of guides on how to write and grow on Twitter, I just didn’t want to look bad.

I compared myself with the accounts I wanted to be like and wanted the same engagement they had.

But I realised that wouldn’t happen because I didn’t have the followers.

And I didn’t have the followers because I wasn’t creating content.

Whether it’s getting started in content creation, the gym, or anything meaningful to you, a big thing holding people back is their fear of looking like a beginner and sucking.

But you need to flip this on its head.

You need to embrace the discomfort of being a beginner.

And that you will suck in the beginning.

Though it’s hard to believe, even the people you admire started somewhere. And if you can get started and let yourself learn, you will get better.

There’s no way that you start and don’t get better if you keep showing up.

Instead of focusing on the goal or outcome, you need to focus on the actions you take. On becoming the person who does XYZ.

Instead of focusing on the number of followers I had, I focused on writing and posting 3 tweets a day. In writing and posting 3 tweets a day, I was becoming a writer and creator.

I started enjoying creating content and this made it easier to write.

I was also shifting my self-image so taking action was a lot easier and in accordance with who I perceive myself to be.

Another reason that you need to stop focusing on the goal and fall in love with the process is that you experience the glory of the end without doing any of the work to get there.

Then when you have to do the work, it’s hard and painful.

The gap between where you are and where you want to be will always feel too big. You’ll never feel like you’ve arrived.

This will misalign your expectations of reality and you’ll see your efforts as pointless or useless whenever you do take action because you aren’t “there”.

So have the goal in mind — know where you’re going — but focus on the actions you take. 

Focus on how you are getting better because you took action.

The process is 99% of the journey, while your destination is 1%, so you might as well fall in love with it.

Action Steps to Doing Hard Things

1. The 2-minute rule.

This is a tip from the author of Atomic Habits, James Clear. 

If you want to start a new habit or do a certain task, it should take less than 2 minutes to do.

So if you want to start running, taking out your running gear should take less than 2 minutes.

The power of this strategy is that if something is easy to start, you’re more likely to continue doing it.

Taking out your running gear will turn into you getting outside to run.

The easier it is to start a task or habit, the more likely you are to continue doing it.

2. Reward Yourself

We spoke about how we avoid doing the things we need to do because there’s pain associated with it that your mind wants to avoid.

Instead of focusing on the pain, create a stronger pleasure. A reward.

Set a target that is not too small and not too challenging, you want to fit the right spot.

Then once, you have found a target, incentivise yourself to do the task by rewarding yourself for completing it.

So if there’s a project you’re working on, set a target to achieve — whether output or time-bound, then reward yourself with something. Like Netflix or a small piece of chocolate.

3. Be A Beginner and Embrace the Suck

Allow yourself to be a beginner and learn.

Comparison is the killer of joy and the reason so many avoid getting started.

I want to remind you that if you are getting started, you’re comparing your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 21.

Instead, focus on the next step you can take and allow yourself to suck in the beginning, but as you keep showing up, you will get better.

4. Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

If you keep letting your self-image dictate the changes you want to make, you will stay the same.

Instead, change the narrative to something that bridges the gap.

You may not be a lean person, but you are someone who cares about their health. This small narrative change is powerful because if you are someone who cares about your health, you will eat cleaner and go to the gym.

You may not be a millionaire, but you are someone who cares about financial freedom, so you will plan and stay within your budget. Or even better, you will find ways to increase your income.

That’s all from me in this newsletter, I hope you try one of these strategies and start doing hard things.

Have a fantastic weekend.

— Shana.