If you’ve come across any self-help or personal development content in the last decade, one idea you have heard is “To be successful, you need self-discipline.”

And while this is true to an extent, many people struggle to be self-disciplined.

There’s one key reason for that:

The way you think about discipline.

You think discipline is hard.

And if something is hard, who wants to do it?

No one.

However if you keep thinking that discipline is hard, but also know it’s something you need for your success, you’re not going to develop self-discipline and thus not achieve your goals.

So how do you resolve this conflict?

By changing how you think of and view self-discipline.

Instead of thinking of it as punishment or hardship, you want to reframe and think of it as kindness.

As a form of self-care.

Self-Care and Your Goals

Self-care has become a huge movement in the past couple of years.

It comes with the good intentions of teaching people to prioritise their mental and physical well-being in the extremely capitalist and hustle culture we live in.

Though it came with really good intentions, like anything in life it has its downsides: people avoid the problems and challenges of their lives, and they turn to ‘self-care.’

And this is made worse because the self-care industry will take advantage of this by advertising the latest product to help you ‘relax’.

Skincare products,

New bath bombs,

Message therapy,

Crystals,

And more.

All in the name of self-care.

But when you come out of a self-care session and look at your progress, don’t be surprised when there’s nothing to be found.

Your mental, emotional and physical well-being are crucial to success and self-care is powerful for helping you prioritise them.

But self-care doesn’t achieve your goals.

That’s where self-discipline comes in.

Self-Discipline as Self-Care

Self-discipline at its core is choosing to give up the things that don’t align with your goals and do the things that do align with your goals.

Not watching Netflix and working for an extra 30 minutes because you want a promotion at work or to grow your business.

Not eating an extra slice of pizza because your goal is to lose weight.

Washing the dishes right now instead of letting them pile up.

Waking up and going to the gym instead of staying in bed.

Self-discipline is doing the ‘hard’ things now because you want better for yourself in the future.

You give up the easy comforts, embrace the discomfort and you do what matters.

And it’s with self-discipline that you achieve your goals.

If someone you loved told you all about the goals they want to achieve, you would be excited and supportive of them, right?

You would want them to succeed.

Maybe you even offer to support and help them.

To hold them accountable.

You would make sure to the best of your ability that they do what they need to do.

You talk them out of giving up or choosing the easy route.

You help them stand up to the challenge and do the work.

You offer them kindness and compassion when it gets hard, but you keep them going.

You do anything you can to make the process a little easier because you want them to succeed.

So why can you not apply the same support and accountability for yourself?

Why do you seemingly not want yourself to achieve your goals and succeed?

There are probably reasons you have, but those reasons aren’t going to achieve your goals.

But what will?

Discipline.

Because despite the excuses, stories and limitations you believe you have, discipline is taking a bet on yourself.

It’s saying, “I’m choosing better for myself.”

It’s saying, “It’s gonna be hard and challenging, but I love you enough to do these things because I want you to have a better future and to be better.”

Self-discipline isn’t hard or punishment, it truly is self-care.

“I know you want to lose weight, so we’re not going to eat that extra slice of pizza.”

“I know you’re tired and warm, but I want you to get the body you want, so we’re waking up and going to the gym.”

“I know you’re tired and don’t want to do the dishes, but how nice will it be waking up to a clean kitchen? Let’s do them now.”

“Netflix would be nice, but if we do 30 more minutes of work, we’ll be so ahead and as a bonus, we can watch 2 episodes tomorrow.”

“Watching Tiktok before we can’t keep our eyes open isn’t great, so how about we go to bed now and wake up feeling rested?”

It’s these small things you would do for someone you cared about.

These are small things you can do for yourself and be someone you care about.

And if not for you now, then for you tomorrow, next week or in a year.

The person you want to be.

Every time you do something out of self-discipline now, you are taking care of that future you and moving closer to becoming them.

You frame all the things you need to do, not as things you are giving up but as things that will make you better now and in the future.

Fall In Love with Self-Discipline

When you can view discipline in this way, you will love it.

It will become a natural part of you and soon you’ll be one of those people you always ask, “How are you so disciplined?”

Self-discipline is a sign of self-care and self-respect.

You respect yourself enough to eat well.

You care about yourself enough to sleep on time.

You respect yourself enough to work out.

You care about yourself enough to do more work.

The more you ‘do’ self-discipline, the more you will care about and respect yourself.

The more you care and respect yourself, the more you will keep ‘doing’ discipline.

It becomes a powerful bidirectional relationship.

And do it for long enough and all those things you thought were hard will become so easy and natural.

It doesn’t have to be a huge thing that you start doing, but one small act can be the start of a new and powerful self-care routine.

— Shana

p.s.

If you’re struggling to achieve your goals because you feel like don’t have self-discipline and want help developing it and more, book a free call with me:

https://calendly.com/shanamdluli/claritycall

Let’s start the self-care routine you’ve always wanted.