Every successful person hits a wall.

Including you.

You may have the vision.

Done some work and taking action.

You may have even gotten some traction, but…

You’re still stuck in the same pattern.

Maybe you haven’t even made progress.

Maybe you’re stuck in a state of paralysis.

You know what you need to do, but you keep procrastinating, doing busy work, or you’re overwhelmed by doubt and fear.

You want more, and you know it’s possible, but subconsciously, that possibility doesn’t extend to you. It’s possible, but not for you.

Most people try to overcome this block with more strategy, more hustle, more planning and so on.

But no amount of external work will overcome the real block: an internal one.

And that internal block is the story you tell yourself.

The Story You Tell Yourself Is Holding You Back

We all have a story we tell ourselves.

About who we are, where we come from, what we can do, what we deserve and about the world.

This story is typically rooted in the past.

Moments when we succeeded and failed. Moments of heartbreak and deep love. Moments that healed us and moments that scared us.

All these events quietly rewire how we see the world and how we see ourselves. Whether they were your fault or not, in your control or not, you’ve created a story around it.

A story that’s controlling you. Determining what you can have and can’t have; can do and can’t do; can be and can’t be.

Our brains are wired for survival, not success. It replays the events of the past to find patterns and create a roadmap that increases our likelihood of success.

If something traumatic or deeply emotional happened, the brain registers that event and assigns a meaning to it. The meaning and story are playing out in your life right now.

You could have stories that sound like:

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “My hard work leads to success.”

• “I can’t do anything right.”

• “Making money is hard.”

• “If I’m quiet, then my parents will like me.”

• “People don’t care about me.”

These stories not only stay in the past, but play out in the future.

If you do outreach and everyone you’ve reached out to says no, the story “making money is hard” or “people don’t care about me” attaches itself to this new event.

Attaching the old story to this new event makes it stronger, and affects how you think, feel and act in the future. Ultimately, it makes you repeat the story into your future.

As long as this story is replaying itself in your mind, it will write your future.

But this doesn’t have to be the case.

Understand this:

What happened to you is real.

The event happened.

But the story you tell yourself about that event? That story can be anything you want it to be if you choose to change it.

You Can Choose a New Story

Whatever story you have right now, you can flip it.

You can flip the story:

• “I’m not good enough.” → “I am good enough.”

• “I can’t do anything right.” → “Mistakes help me learn and improve.”

• “Making money is hard.” → “Making money is easy.”

• “If I’m quiet, then my parents will like me.” → “If I’m being my authentic self, my parents/ people will like me.”

• “People don’t care about me.” → “People care about me so much.”

You are the one who gives the events a story and a meaning. That is your superpower. You just forgot and used it against yourself.

But now you are remembering that you are the meaning-making machine.

You can assign a new meaning.

You can flip the narrative.

You can change the story.

This means you get to decide how the story unfolds at every stage.

Let’s say you do outreach and get no replies or interested prospects:

Old story: “People don’t want what I have to offer.”

New story: “This is feedback and is helping me figure out what the market needs.”

If you failed at a goal:

Old story: “I can’t do this. It’s too hard. I’m not cut out for this.”

New story: “Failure is a lesson. I’m learning where to improve.”

Changing the story doesn’t mean the event didn’t happen.

It’s changing how you perceive what happened and choosing what meaning you give to that event.

Nothing in this world has inherent meaning except the meaning we assign to it.

Thousands and thousands of events and situations exist in this world that don’t affect you until you assign meaning to them.

Someone could bump into you and spill water on your old shoes. You shrug it off and reassure the person that it was a mistake and it’s okay.

Someone could bump into you and spill water on the new shoes you bought yesterday. You might get so angry and insult them. You could interpret it as intentional. That the Universe hates you and never lets you have nice things.

Same event, two different meanings.

You had more meaning and emotion attached to your new shoes than your old shoes. And it’s that meaning that shapes how you perceive the event.

This applies to any and every event in your life. Things are going to happen, but the story you tell about those events can either be what limits you or what launches you forward.

How To Change The Story

Here’s a framework to help you change the internal story you’ve been living by — and write a new one that aligns with your next-level self.

Step 1: Identify the Old Story

Ask yourself:

• What event or pattern keeps holding me back?

• What do I believe about myself or the world because of it?

• When did this belief/ story first arise?

• What actions (or inactions) does that belief lead to?

This is your default script. You’ve likely been playing it on loop for years.

It may not come to you immediately because it’s an unconscious story, so be patient and curious.

The longer you can be curious and observant, the more it will reveal itself to you.

Step 2: Zoom Out and Find the Facts

Strip the emotion from the story. What happened?

• Who was involved?

• What did they say or do?

• What did I do?

• What am I assuming about what happened?

This helps you break emotional fusion with the story and view it objectively.

Step 3: Reassign the Meaning

Now that you see the event from a more objective lens, ask:

What else could this mean?

How can this be viewed from another perspective?

This is where you flex your imagination and your wisdom.

It’s not about right or wrong; you are simply exploring perspectives.

Step 4: Install the New Story

Now that you’ve reframed the event, choose the new story you want to tell.

• Who do I want to be now?

• What do I want to believe?

• What’s an action I can take that aligns with the new story?

Bonus: Journal Prompts for Rewriting Your Story

You can use these questions to go deeper:

• What is the event that happened? (What are the ‘facts’?)

• How did it affect me and make me feel?

• Who am I now because of that event?

• What’s the story I’ve been telling myself about who I am and about the world?

• What direction has my life taken because of this story?

• How has that story shaped my decisions?

• How can I see the event from another perspective?

• What’s a way that the event could have benefited me?

• What’s a lesson I can take away and utilise to better my future? Did it make me more responsible, observant, aware, grateful, etc.?

• Is this story still serving me? If so or if not, how?

• What new story would serve me better?

• What’s the story for my future?

The Past Doesn’t Define You — Unless You Let It

You are not your past.

You are the storyteller.

And your next chapter?

It gets to be anything you want it to be.

No more being controlled by outdated scripts.

No more playing small because of things you didn’t choose.

No more letting a survival-based version of you decide what’s possible now.

When you change the story, you change the self.

And when you change the self, your life and business transform with it.

Thank you for reading.

I hope it helped.

See you in the next one.

— Shana