When I got into self-improvement, I didn’t know I was getting into self-improvement.

I had a problem — I was anxious and my mind was my worst enemy — and I wanted to solve it.

I didn’t know that wanting to solve this problem would lead me down a path of personal growth and development.

But here I am, nearly 8 years later.

I gained more from walking this path than overcoming my anxiety.

And it’s all because of one habit:

Meditation.

In this newsletter, I want to explain what meditation is, how it can help you and why it’s easier than you think.

In your daily life, there are over a hundred things that are battling for your attention at any given time. The same is true in your mind.

You have over 70,000 thoughts a day all trying to grab your attention.

Some thoughts grab your attention and you feel a certain way.

Other thoughts grab your attention and make you respond to something externally.

Other thoughts seem to go in loops and send you spiralling.

It’s no wonder so many people are overwhelmed, tired, confused and reactive.

There’s a war internally and externally and it’s all for your attention and energy.

And fighting this war is exhausting.

And this is where meditation comes in.

What is Meditation?

Meditation, simply, is the practice of intentionally spending time with your mind.

There are many techniques and traditions when it comes to meditation, but all are training your mind and teaching you to cultivate awareness.

As you cultivate this skill — yes, meditation is a skill— you become aware of where your attention is going.

This could be where your attention goes externally and internally.

Meditation trains your mind to be still, in observation.

You can notice the thoughts you are having, the emotions you are feeling, the things you are doing or the things happening around you without needing to engage with them.

You simply choose. No longer losing yourself and getting swept up in anything and everything.

You let the thoughts, feelings or reactions come up, then gently shift your focus away from it and to what you want.

You are training yourself to be aware and to focus on one thing at a time.

How To Meditate

The most common and easiest way to meditate is to sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and breathe.

But there’s more to meditation than sitting quietly and breathing.

You will have thoughts and emotions come up.

Your body will become fighting to do something because why are you doing nothing?

But you aren’t doing nothing.

You are cultivating awareness, and focus and training yourself to be present.

You are training the mind to stop being easily distracted by thoughts and to watch them without judgment.

You are training your mind to stop escaping and to stop reacting unconsciously.

You are training yourself to be aware and present in this moment. Letting go of needing to be everywhere else but where you are.

You are training yourself to focus on the breath — the one thing we have that is always constant.

You’ll have a thought, a feeling, a reaction — anything trying to pull you away — but you come back and focus on the breath.

The breath becomes your anchor in the moment and you learn to let thoughts and feelings come and go.

Meditation is not about stopping your thinking.

My biggest misconception about meditation was believing that I had to stop thinking.

I tried for many of my first sessions to get my mind to stop thinking and I failed every time.

It wasn’t until I came across Headspace and a great illustration from the founder, Andy Pot…

“Let’s think of thoughts like traffic in the mind, always zipping by.

“Sometimes we see a flashy car and chase after it, kind of like when we get caught up in analyzing or judging a thought or when we get lost in a daydream. Other times, we see a roadblock ahead and try to resist it, like we do when we think or feel something uncomfortable. Meditation trains us to notice the traffic without chasing or fighting it — just to let the thought come. Then gently shift our focus away from it and back onto our breath — to let the thought go.

The more we practice, the more we can see thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. It’ll get easier to let them go and “get out of our heads” to be more engaged in what we’re doing, whether we’re spending time with family, making time for self-care, or working against a deadline.” (taken directly from the Headspace page)

I quickly came to understand that the mind’s nature is to think.

My job wasn’t to stop the mind from thinking but to become aware and observe my thoughts without judging or chasing after them.

I was learning to be aware of where my thoughts were going and to bring myself back to the breath.

Despite everything that is happening around you — the way your body fidgets and the noises from the neighbours — can you stay aware of yourself?

To bring your attention to what is happening here with you?

To bring your attention to what is happening around you?

Does it really need your attention?

Does it really need you to react?

What if you just observed?

This is the core of meditation: to be aware and observe. Not try and change or manipulate or force anything, simply to observe.

In that space of observation, we can choose how we want to respond and interact with our thoughts, feelings and ultimately the world.

Viktor Frankl said it best in his best-selling book, A Man’s Search for Meaning:

When you can choose how to respond, you are free from your unconscious reactions, impulses and conditioned programming.

You are free to choose how you want to respond and in that is the power to become the person you want to be.

And the better you get at meditation, the more aware you become and the more aware you become, the more mindful you are in your day-to-day life.

The more you can create the life you want.

Closing thoughts

You have 7,000+ thoughts a day.

Some good, some bad, but always there.

Just because thoughts are always there doesn’t mean you must be controlled or overwhelmed by them.

It’s your mind’s nature to think, that you cannot stop.

Instead of trying to stop your thoughts, learn to be aware and observe them.

To anchor yourself with your breath and let the thoughts and emotions come and go.

Though meditation is a simple practice, it is not easy.

It requires dedication, time and consistency.

It will challenge you to face what you have avoided.

Pasts of you that you have turned away from and may not have known are there.

But every time, you sit and go within; every time you get distracted and bring your attention back to your breath, you are becoming better, stronger and more present.

And with that presence, you turn your mind into an ally.

Action steps

1. Choose a time when you can meditate consistently — morning, midday or evening.

2. Start with 10 minutes.

   • You can use a mantra or music. Do it unguided or guided — I recommend HeadSpace if you want guided meditations.

3. Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes.

4. Focus on the breath. Every time you get distracted by thought, feeling, noise or movement, gently guide yourself back to the breath.

5. Don’t force it. Don’t force yourself to focus on the breath, don’t force yourself to do a full 10 minutes. If it’s your first time meditating, allow there to be ‘mistakes’. Meditation is a skill and you’re learning, so let yourself learn.

6. Enjoy and have fun. Allow yourself to have fun during the process. See how long you can sit still without feeling the need to move. How many breaths you can stick with before you get distracted? Ultimately let yourself have fun and explore.

— Shana