Have you ever wondered what is the #1 quality that makes people successful?

If you said self-discipline, I’d agree with you.

And it makes sense why it’s such a valuable quality to have.

If you have goals — whether that’s getting into better shape, writing a book, learning a new instrument or making it to the Olympics — self-discipline is a key ingredient in the recipe to success.

However, many people struggle to be disciplined. These people don’t lack desire or motivation.

They are highly motivated but struggle to make the changes they want.

Self-Discipline is Misunderstood

Self-discipline is misunderstood because many think that it is a trait you’re born with.

If you’re lucky to be born with it, you’re naturally self-disciplined.

If you’re not born with it, you’ll struggle all your life.

This is completely backwards.

Your struggle with being disciplined is not because of a moral failing, your genetics or your personality.

You struggle to be disciplined because of the bad habits that get in the way.

Self-discipline is about your habits and routines, not your genetics or personality.

It’s a skill you can learn and get better at.

If you want to have insane self-discipline and achieve your goals with ease, remove these 5 habits from your life.

Once these habits are out of the way, self-discipline won’t be far out of reach.

1. Worrying about Outcomes

Many people are goal-oriented, but few people achieve their goals.

Why is that?

Setting and achieving goals are two different things. Most people are great at setting their goals but suck at achieving them.

The biggest reason is because they are too focused on the goal itself.

The difference is a subtle one.

Disciplined people don’t spend much time thinking about their goals.

They set it, forget it and simply get to work.

They focus on their actions — something they can do and control.

They do the things that will most likely lead to their desired outcome.

Put another way, it’s about the relationship you have with control.

Disciplined people understand that they can’t control if their goal will be achieved. All they can control is their efforts.

• You can’t control when you lose 10 kg, but you can control the meals you eat.

• You can’t control how many meetings you have, but you can control how much outbound outreach you do.

• You can’t control what someone says to you, but you can control how you respond to them.

Thinking and daydreaming about your goals isn’t going to move you closer to achieving them.

You need to focus on your actions and doing what’s necessary.

Focus on what you can control and let the rest unfold on its own.

2. Listening To Your Feelings

Though I’m not a huge fan of this hard, ‘ignore my feelings’ type of discipline, there is a key lesson to take from it.

Reason this with me:

You go to the gym on Monday and Tuesday. No issues or anything. But you wake up Wednesday morning making excuses why you don’t want to go.

Or you’ve been working on a project for a couple of days and then you get to your desk and you can’t help but watch the clock tick.

So what happened?

Did you lose your discipline overnight?

Hardly.

The tasks you need to complete didn’t change either. You knew what you were going to do the next day, so it’s not a matter of surprise.

The only thing that changed was how you felt.

This is the key lesson: disciplined people know not to listen to their feelings all the time.

I want to highlight: all the time. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware or listen to your feelings.

Highly disciplined people are very often in tune with their emotions and moods. But they aren’t ruled or controlled by them.

They maintain a healthy scepticism of their emotions.

While emotions often communicate important information, they can also lead you astray.

You aren’t always going to be excited to go to the gym, but you shouldn’t let your lack of excitement be a reason you don’t go.

Your emotions aren’t always accurate. You may have certain emotional responses from childhood that don’t serve you.

Your emotions are also your mind’s guess about how you should act — a behavioural heuristic.

Though your emotions convey important information, that information is not always accurate or complete.

If you aren’t aware, your emotions could end up conflicting with what you value.

You value being healthy and getting into great shape, but your emotions lead you to overeat or binge eat.

You value getting to know people and making new friends but your emotions create negative scenarios of you embarrassing yourself.

A sceptical relationship with your emotions is necessary. Be aware and listen to them, but don’t blindly follow them.

3. Waiting for Motivation

Motivation is what gets you started. Discipline is what gets you to the end.

Motivation is a great feeling.

That feeling hits many at 2 am to get up and completely reinvent themselves.

We love feeling inspired and energised.

Motivation gives us the energy and mindset shift that makes doing hard things easy.

But that feeling doesn’t last.

When you rely on motivation, you’re bound to fail.

Motivation isn’t required to do hard things. That’s why disciplined people don’t wait for it.

They view it as a ‘nice to have’. A little bonus here and there, but they aren’t dependent on it.

As you wait for motivation to strike before you take action, time passes. And with this time, your dreams and goals fade further and further into memories and ‘what ifs”.

Disciplined people don’t wait for motivation because they know it’s fickle.

Instead, they have an action bias and focus on the future.

Feeling good when doing hard things helps, but you won’t always feel good. And if you don’t always feel good, you won’t take action. So they focus on their actions and how their actions benefit them in the future.

They know that change won’t happen overnight. It takes time. They know that the actions they take today will benefit them in the future. That’s their motivation: a better future.

Self-disciplined people act their way into feeling motivated. They create their own motivation instead of waiting for it. They are more motivated than others because they consistently take action. They create their own momentum.

Don’t wait for motivation; create your own.

4. Relying On Willpower

If you watched disciplined people and 'undisciplined' people, you might notice something fascinating:

Undisciplined people use willpower as a default. Disciplined people use it as a last resort.

Distractions and temptations are going to be there, but they can be avoided. You don’t need to put yourself in a situation where you are testing your willpower. Instead, remove the temptation from the start.

Disciplined people make use of far more effective strategies for staying committed. One of those strategies is environmental design.

Your environment is a key player in your success. And it’s the one player many neglect to influence for their benefit.

For example: One thing I’m disciplined about is not using my phone while I’m working. But it wasn’t always like this.

There was a time when I couldn’t go more than 5 minutes without picking up my phone. It’s the perfect tool of distraction.

Even having it next to me, face down, was a temptation. I would be thinking about a possible text coming in or something on social media and be tempted to check it.

When I started, I followed the simple (but extreme at the time) advice of putting it in a separate room. Every time I thought about going to fetch it, I left it because it was too far. Soon, I trusted myself enough to have it in the same room.

Then I used the built-in phone systems like Do No Disturb and Focus modes to limit access to certain apps.

Instead of using my willpower, I used my environment to remove my phone altogether.

It’s better to remove and avoid temptations in the first place than to use willpower to resist them.

This way disciplined people use nearly half as much willpower as others would think. Willpower is the same as motivation in their minds: a ‘nice to have’, but not to be relied on. Instead of trying to change themselves, they change their environment.

5. Self-criticism

I grew up being hard on myself. I believed that being hard on myself would help me succeed.

And if I didn’t succeed, I wouldn’t be valuable or worthy.

A lot of us have grown up this way: being our biggest critic and engaging in self-judgement.

• We call ourselves “stupid” when we make a mistake.

• We call ourselves “lazy” anything we’re procrastinating.

• We overlook our efforts because it “wasn’t good enough”.

• We tell ourselves it’s “silly” to be nervous about a presentation we’re giving because we did so many in school.

And we do achieve success. We went to the gym, did the presentation, got positive feedback from our boss, etc.

We start to think that our self-criticism is the cause of our success. So we ramp it up. If I keep coming down on myself, I’ll get things done and achieve my goals, the voice in your head thinks.

But this isn’t true.

And it’s something I learned from working on myself and with others: self-compassion and encouragement do more for your productivity than self-criticism and self-judgement.

People are more disciplined when they are compassionate to themselves than when they criticise themselves.

Criticism leads to a lot of shame, self-doubt, fear and low self-esteem — all factors that can longer your ability to be disciplined.

But when you treat yourself like a best friend — with love, compassion and encouragement — discipline naturally occurs. You want to do those things because you care about what’s best for you and your future, not because you’re afraid of what could happen if you don’t.

Self-criticism links pain to doing the right things and following basic human nature: people move away from pain and towards pleasure.

So if being disciplined is painful, you’ll unconsciously avoid it.

But your self-criticism makes you feel bad and you do the action, but half-heartedly. This vicious cycle leads to a lot of resentment and pain.

Instead, if you were self-compassionate and linked more pleasure to being disciplined, you would do what you need to do, feel good about it and do it again. This becomes a cycle that makes being disciplined enjoyable and natural.

When you support and love yourself through the process of improving yourself, it’s easier to keep showing up for yourself even when times get tough.

If you want to become a more disciplined version of yourself, these are the 5 habits to look out for and eliminate:

1. Waiting for motivation

2. Listening to Your Feelings

3. Relying on willpower to overcome temptations

4. Worrying about outcomes

5. Self-criticism

— Shana