7 Habits That Will Transform You Into A Calmer Person

I was a very shy child for as long as I can remember.

So shy that I would hide behind my father or mother’s leg when we were around people.

Even if those people were family members.

I really enjoyed being myself and being in my own world.

But life happens and soon, I couldn’t stand being on my own.

My mind would be racing with uncontrollable thoughts.

My eyes were hypervigilant and always on the lookout.

My breath was short and shallow.

It all made sense when I was diagnosed with anxiety.

And in 2019, I began experiencing panic attacks.

Fast forward to now and I feel like a completely different person to who I was in 2019.

Back then, anxiety was all I knew and how I saw the world.

It was my closest companion and stress and fear were familiar feelings day-to-day.

My mind was my greatest enemy and I was always at its mercy.

When I got into Buddhism and meditation in 2019, I wasn’t sure I could experience anything close to calm.

But I hoped and prayed.

I stayed committed and determined.

I showed up every day.

And 5 years later, I’ve become a calm person.

Through my journey, I’ve learned that a calm life is not given to a select few lucky people while the rest of us have to be anxious.

It’s available to everyone and anyone.

Here are the 7 habits that transformed me into the calmest version of myself (and will transform you):

Habit 1: Meditation

Following my curiosity in Buddhism and my love for Avatar the Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra, meditation was an obvious answer to developing calmness and managing my anxiety.

Meditation is a great practice that allows you to create space between yourself and your thoughts.

When you detach from the anxious and racing thoughts, you can observe them and not function AS them.

Being able to observe and not react to a stimulus is a key component of being calm.

Not everything that enters your awareness needs a reaction.

Sometimes it’s better to let things be as they are without trying to change them.

Habit 2: Being Present

You can’t change the past, it’s already happened.

You can’t change the future, it hasn’t happened yet.

The only place from which you can do anything is the present moment.

Being calm is an active practice of being where you are completely.

Mentally, emotionally and physically.

In becoming a calmer person, I’ve realised there’s nowhere else I need to be other than where I am.

Jumping to the past or the future only steals my joy from the present.

In the end, I’ll end up where I need to be, but for now, I am here.

Habit 3: Gratitude

Calm people are peaceful because they accept things as what they are.

Yes, things aren’t perfect or as we want them to be, but they are good enough.

A gratitude practice was a great way of shifting my perspective from a lack mindset to an abundance mindset.

I was able to appreciate more of the things I had and with that, I brought more peace and joy into my life.

There are so many things to be grateful for in our lives, but we miss out on them because we are too focused on what we lack.

Habit 4: Exercise and Movement

You can’t think your way out of your head, so move yourself out of it.

Move your body.

Exercise has always been a big part of my life.

In 2019, it took on a more holistic purpose in my life, other than trying to achieve the ‘perfect body’.

It became a tool I could use to take care of my mind, strengthen my body and manage my emotions.

Through exercise, I’ve developed a mind-body connection that has allowed me to be more aware of my body’s sensations.

The body is always communicating to you but unlike the mind, some things can’t be heard. They have to be felt.

Through exercise and becoming more in tune with my body and emotions, there is a greater level of safety and self-trust that allows me to FEEL what needs to be felt.

Habit 5: Touching The Grass

One of my best friends always says, “Let’s go touch some grass” when we’ve been indoors for too long.

I always thought of it as a silly sentiment but there was no denying how much better I felt after being in nature.

We are nature and nature is us.

Taking time to cultivate a relationship with nature is a great way to cultivate presence and calmness because you are less focused on yourself and more focused on the wonders that exist around you.

The magic of nature is how it takes you out of your mind without force or effort; you lose yourself in the trees, plants and animals.

Habit 6: Internal Locus of Control

A huge contributor to my anxiety growing up was the lack of control I felt as a child.

Feeling like you are not in control of your life is a surefire way to create an anxious mind that is constantly on the lookout for threats.

Over the years, I’ve learned to focus on the things within my power and control. I had to accept that I couldn’t control everything and that’s okay.

Being calm is learning to go with the flow and do what you can where you can. Let everything else play out as it will without trying to force your way into it.

Habit 7: Laughing and Smiling More

My brother loves sitcoms. He’s currently watching the Big Bang Theory and every time I hear him laugh, a smile creeps onto my face.

Becoming calmer, I learned to find joy in the mundane moments of life.

Why are you taking everything so seriously when being alive is such a miracle?

Relax a little. Laugh a little. Be a little.

I’ve learned to allow myself to enjoy life and to laugh more.

In some ways, being so anxious, I had forgotten the sound of my own laughter.

So if you catch me watching a sitcom soon, don’t be surprised.

And that’s it.

7 habits to help you become a calmer person:

1. Meditation

2. Being present

3. Gratitude

4. Exercise and Movement

5. Touching the Grass

6. Internal Locus of Control

7. Laughing and Smiling More

— Shana.

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